Firstly we have Exhibit A – Kelloggs Coco Pops Moon and Stars:

At around the 15 second mark we have 2 astronauts rocking on a giant turd, and at 22 seconds we have milky fluid shooting at a brown star. What indeed does go on in that bowl? All I know is, last time I saw anything like that in a bowl, it was the morning after a Chicken Jalfrezi.

Now, lets look at Exhibit B – Gaviscon:

Clearly, this advert is telling us that the only cure for heartburn is to have a fireman (complete with a 70s Germanic porn-tache) shoot down your throat. Clearly an unsafe practice. One can only assume that she turns the music up at the end to hide her screams of  “Oh no, I’ve just blown off the entire of Blue Watch!”

And finally, for now, Exhibit C – Subway:

And just what is his pocket doing to him when not dragging him into crap fast food places?