Now, how long before YouTube delete it?

A couple of points on this…

Firstly, is it really newsworthy? Someone in their twenties goes on holiday, gets drunk, and makes a total arse of themselves. If that is news, I would have spent a lot of the 90s in the newspapers (instead of the mere 5 appearances – none of which involved nudity). Okay, so this person ended up butt naked in a hotel corridor. I was 33 before that first happened to me. It still isn’t news.

Secondly, is the story even true? Is there one piece of admissible evidence that this event ever occurred with Miss Gillan involved? Could it have been another skinny ginger? Only the release of photo/video evidence will tell.

Personally, I doubt every aspect of this story, with good reason.

I know a lot of Scots, and a lot of Gingers. A lot of my friends and family are either Scottish, Ginger, or both.

While the idea of a Ginger Scot drunk and naked in a hotel corridor is not entirely outside the realms of possibility, one crucial point is: they were whimpering.

In my experience, neither a Ginger, nor a Scot, would ever be in that state of mind.

Due to the high levels of rage which both Gingers and Scots possess, the only state of mind for a drunken Caledonian Redhead to be in, would be Pure Incandescant Rage. A state which they stay in until soberness approaches, or a coma occurs (at which point whimpering is impossible).

If said person was kicking seven bells of shit out of a fire extinguisher for it being “redder than her”, or repeatedly punching a mirror because the reflection was looking at them in a funny way, then I’d accept the possibility that a skinny, drunken, Ginger, Scottish wench was there.

Without that possibility, I don’t think the story can be true.

The Doctor(sub), The Doctor, The Doctor, The Doctor(goal), The Doctor, The Doctor,The Doctor, The Doctor(sub), The Doctor, The Doctor, The Doctor, The Doctor, The Doctor.

Daleks instill fear in the weak and feeble. For example:

Giant Dalek intimidates Puny Lego Doctor

My sister recently acquired a defunct radio control Dalek on a car boot sale and figured that I might be able to find something to do with it.

But first we need to see exactly what we’re dealing with.

Dalek (minus eyestalk)

What we appear to have is a Doctor Who – 12″ Radio Control Black Dalek, missing its eyestalk and the relevant control unit.

Someone once said that once you break something to see how it works, you have left the path of wisdom. It might have been Merlin, or possibly Mr. Miyagi. In this case, the damn thing is broken and i left the path of wisdom years ago anyway.

So, off with the bottom!

What lieth inside

Here we see three things:

• the base unit – which contains the RC receiver, speaker, battery unit and motors
• the superstructure – which is what makes it look like a Dalek
• some turkey mince – which would have been my supper, but was so far out of date that it was in danger of crawling away by itself.

Stripping off the burnt out RC receiver (and letting the mince run free) gives us a closer look at the base unit:

Warning: exposed circuitry

An even closer look shows us the nubbin that connects to the drive shaft that rotates the head unit:

Nubbin highlighted with red ring

Peering up the skirt of the Dalek shows us where the shaft connects to the nubbin, along with some wires that connect to the circuitry in the head:

Shaft, with another red ring around it

Just concentrating on the bottom we have:

• a base unit with working motors that run off 6v
• some duff circuitry which will be ignored
• a piezo speaker which might come in handy later
• nothing for my supper
• a blog post which, having re-read the text, will probably rank quite highly in the results of porn searches.

I need a new camera. And a new voice.

Fine. Matthew Smith. Never heard of him, but I’d never heard of David Tennant either.

But, and this is very important, David Tennant does not look like a total arsecandle.

Oh, don't I have cool hair?

I know I can’t really say a damn thing about hair (sporting my James May Tribute Haircut), but observe the floppy lop-sided shiteness.  Its only a tiny step away from sending emoarse.com and doctorwhoisshit.com into some kind of cyclic whirlpool of manic recursion, or even recursive occlusion.

Still, we’ll see how it goes. I thought that Sylvester McCoy was going to be awful, but The Curse of Fenric and Battlefield are two of my favourite stories.