A couple of points on this…

Firstly, is it really newsworthy? Someone in their twenties goes on holiday, gets drunk, and makes a total arse of themselves. If that is news, I would have spent a lot of the 90s in the newspapers (instead of the mere 5 appearances – none of which involved nudity). Okay, so this person ended up butt naked in a hotel corridor. I was 33 before that first happened to me. It still isn’t news.

Secondly, is the story even true? Is there one piece of admissible evidence that this event ever occurred with Miss Gillan involved? Could it have been another skinny ginger? Only the release of photo/video evidence will tell.

Personally, I doubt every aspect of this story, with good reason.

I know a lot of Scots, and a lot of Gingers. A lot of my friends and family are either Scottish, Ginger, or both.

While the idea of a Ginger Scot drunk and naked in a hotel corridor is not entirely outside the realms of possibility, one crucial point is: they were whimpering.

In my experience, neither a Ginger, nor a Scot, would ever be in that state of mind.

Due to the high levels of rage which both Gingers and Scots possess, the only state of mind for a drunken Caledonian Redhead to be in, would be Pure Incandescant Rage. A state which they stay in until soberness approaches, or a coma occurs (at which point whimpering is impossible).

If said person was kicking seven bells of shit out of a fire extinguisher for it being “redder than her”, or repeatedly punching a mirror because the reflection was looking at them in a funny way, then I’d accept the possibility that a skinny, drunken, Ginger, Scottish wench was there.

Without that possibility, I don’t think the story can be true.

See here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/3651181/Study-reveals-fifth-of-UK-have-German-blood.html

And, as usual they can’t get their facts right.

Note, as you read the web page, the title text (thats the bit on your browser’s top bar): “Study reveals fifth of UK have German blood”.

Now read the second paragraph of the article: “Geneticists claim HALF of Brits could have German blood in them”.

So… one fifth DO, but a half COULD?

And then: “Supported by archaeological studies on teeth and enamel, experts have concluded that 50 per cent of Brits have some German in their genetic make-up.”

Oh for fucks sake, make your mind up. Is it 50% could be, 50% are, or 20% are? These are the sort of things that the average retard in the street needs to know. (For example, the sort of retard that attends an English Defence League rally in Cardiff).

Anyway, The Sun follows this up with a “Quiz”, which is borderline racist.

For example:

When you see a sun lounger by a hotel pool do you…

• A. Have a lie down and order a nice cold lager.
• B. Leave it for now… it’s far too early to think about sunbathing.
• C. Put a towel on it. Immediately.

Ignoring the lack of correct punctuation, they might as well have asked:

Are you Welsh? You see a sheep in a field, do you?

• A. Think nothing of it. Sheep live in fields
• B. Consider having lamp chops for tea
• C. Shag it senseless.

Here is a simple way to test if you have German blood:

Do you have blonde hair?

• Yes: Almost certainly you are partly of Anglo-Saxon descent, therefore you are a bit German.
• No: Don’t kid yourself. Unless your family have repeatedly interbred for the last millennium and a half, then the chances are that you have at least some Germanic DNA.

As I’m now struggling to find an end to this, I’ll just do what The Sun did and compare good and bad things about Germany and Germans (from my personal perspective):

• Bad: Frankfurt Airport (Arrivals),  iTT (specifically the bloke who sacked me from Teleride), Mk 1 VW Golfs with oil leaks, 1984 BMW 3 Series that break down the day after you buy them.
• Good: The utterly indestructible Mk3 VW Golf, the two half-Germans that I work with, Frankfurt Airport (Departures), Ford Sierra with the Cologne V6 engine, its a great language to pretend to know if you want to shout incomprehensively at someone.

(See the story at http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2960673/Ghostly-figure-of-a-weeping-girl-in-mirror-of-hotel-room.html)

This little girl gets about a bit. Sometimes she appears in kitchen door glass (http://www.ghostsandstories.com/little-girl-ghost.html).

But this is hardly surprising considering this iPhone App: http://www.appstorehq.com/ghostcapture-iphone-79452/app

But it isn’t just the outrageous fakery that annoys me. Just read the story for all the signs of Sun Bullshit:

• Unidentified guests
• Unidentified spokesman
• Random words in BOLD CAPITALS

Honestly, if they want some made-up bullshit they should contact me. A copy of my CV should proove fictional enough for them.

The story also had a sidebar entitled “Helping kids to be fine online”, which gave 10 handy tips on keeping the kiddywinks safe on t’internet. Point 8 was particularly interesting:

“8. The internet can be accessed from many devices – including mobiles – so make sure kids’ phones are registered as such with the provider and filters are in place.”

Fair words, but illustrated with a poorly chosen picture (versions from the printed copy, and The Sun website):

Ah, the good old Nokia 3310, that well known internet capable phone from 2000. But not only is it possibly the most internet-useless phone of the century, it is also the most dangerous.

I don’t mean that the Nokia 3310 in general is a dangerous phone, just that one in particular. It was, after all, the one used by terrorists, as shown in The Sun’s story of December 17th, 2008.

Clearly The Sun either don’t know anything about phones, or have a really rubbish picture researcher. Or this particular phone is cursed.