Tony Blews

Evony, the browser based game which became notorious for its adverts picturing scantily clad women, amongst other things, has gone a step further with its advertising. From stealing images from costume sites, through some really ropey CGI women, using a model who is a gamer, to outright norkage, it seems that they’ll try anything to attract teenage boys and semi-employed 38 year old geeks to their game. The latest advert doesn’t even name the product, yet has all the hallmarks of their campaign.

First though, here are the adverts from times past:

Classy stuff, i’m sure you’ll agree, and cock all to do with the game which is a poor Civilisation clone with no queen to save, and thus no norks.

And so on to the new advert…

Christ, you’d hardly know it it was for Evony if it wasn’t for the “My Lord” catchphrase, and the the familiar looking button.

Still, it seems to work for them. Gullible idiots seem to be playing the game and even paying for it.

So. If it works for them, it might work for me. If you want to volunteer to show a lot of cleavage to advertise a website of mine, don’t hesitate to contact me. Jon, this does NOT apply to you!

Advertising is clearly going to hell. Have a look at these examples.

Firstly we have Exhibit A – Kelloggs Coco Pops Moon and Stars:

At around the 15 second mark we have 2 astronauts rocking on a giant turd, and at 22 seconds we have milky fluid shooting at a brown star. What indeed does go on in that bowl? All I know is, last time I saw anything like that in a bowl, it was the morning after a Chicken Jalfrezi.

Now, lets look at Exhibit B – Gaviscon:

Clearly, this advert is telling us that the only cure for heartburn is to have a fireman (complete with a 70s Germanic porn-tache) shoot down your throat. Clearly an unsafe practice. One can only assume that she turns the music up at the end to hide her screams of  “Oh no, I’ve just blown off the entire of Blue Watch!”

And finally, for now, Exhibit C – Subway:

And just what is his pocket doing to him when not dragging him into crap fast food places?