Tony Blews

At last! Someone is supporting my “drive the distance to the moon and back” idea!
The website thempg.co.uk have offered to promote the idea. Sadly Ford haven’t replied to my various emails, likewise the various fuel companies that I’ve contacted.
I’ve had a few volunteers for the plan, but nobody can commit to the full expedition.
So, here is a revised idea:

• Acquire a used  car or van from some fleet or hire company (not a Picasso!)
• Assemble a team of drivers and work out a schedule to keep said vehicle moving 23 hours a day
• Convince an insurance company to provide cover for nothing
• Blag fuel from some company who need good publicity (BP?)
• Blag free breakdown cover
• Do the thing for charity
• Get free pasties from Ginsters (not a requirement, just a way of feeding my addiction)

Any thoughts?

So, the showrunner of Doctor Who has apparently “ranted” about fans spoiling the series by leaking plot elements.

Here is the BBC coverage…

So.
Only two things wrong with that:

• That isn’t a rant. I know enough Scottish people to know a rant when I hear one. In the lexicon of Scotland, that was just a minor complaint. I’ve heard Scots more angry about Tesco running out of milk.
• What the the fusk was that git thinking when he decided to do that to his hair?

There are two things which run as constants through my life:  overblown plans that are doomed to failure, and really shit vehicles.

So, why not combine the two? Why not try to take a crappy 50cc bike from one end of Great Britain to the other?

Has it been done before? I don’t know. I don’t really care. Could it be done? Maybe. What would it involve? Well…

Obviously a 50cc moped. To maintain the spirit of the idea it couldn’t possibly be a good moped (such as an Aprilia), but would need to be a “step-thru” such as either a Honda Cub (or equivalent), Honda Melody, or even an old Puch.

Some form of support vehicle would be needed, ideally something Transit sized (to cart the ‘ped down to Cornwall in the first place, and afterwards to provide overnight kipping space). And obviously a driver.

I can’t even guess at fuel costs, as knackered old mopeds aren’t listed on the fuel economy sites, but I don’t think it would be that high.

Is anyone interested?

Yesterday, The Sun published a story entitled  “Countdown conundbum“. No only is that an all-time low for The Sun’s in-house punning division, it is also a story which carried all the hallmarks of Sun Bullshit.

I’m selecting parts of the article here just to highlight journalistic bullshit. Should News International wish to take action against me, well let us just say that they know my address and leave it at that.

Anyway:

She was stunned when the jumbled letters SHAHSITED clicked over to reveal the swear word.

Stunned? Really? I would have been mildy amused.

Angry Victoria, 30, said yesterday: “I couldn’t believe my eyes as the word was slowly unveiled as an obscene insult.

Firstly, I’ll tackle “Angry”. Was she really angry? Mildly annoyed? Quite bothered? Only she can tell you that.

Next, does “shithead” count as an obscene insult? I think not. The girl in the bank said “shit” when she dropped a bundle of notes last week. Sean Connery said it in Highlander II, so it must be OK. (This is possibly the only time I will acknowledge the existance of Highlander II).

“Oliver is a really bright kid … he was already asking what the word meant   …  my husband Daniel had to rush him out of the room.”

Yeah, because turning the television off was too difficult.

Channel 4 declined to comment yesterday, as did the company who make the game, Koch. Nintendo also would not comment.

Did you actually bother asking them? Probably not. But you do have a history of that, don’t you?

Anyway, was the mother really “outraged” as The Sun headline claims? For what is “outrage”? Well…

1. An act of extreme violence or viciousness.
2. An act grossly offensive to decency, morality, or good taste.
3. A deplorable insult.
4. Resentful anger aroused by a violent or offensive act.

Was mother Victoria carrying a professional quality digital SLR and lighting rig when she spotted this game-based swearyness? She must have been, to be able to take that photo (in the short time before she hustled little Oliver out of the room and back into his secure bunker). Obviously she didn’t have time to clean the shitty fingerprints from the front of the telly.

Or, is that photograph a set-up job? How long would it take to get the same word to show up in the game again?

Clearly the picture has been altered (to blur out the alleged “offensive” bits), but the image on the CRT screen is genuine. So, how can this be?

Well, either the game shows the word “SHITHEADS” every time a News International employee is nearby, or the screen is showing a doctored image displayed from some hack’s laptop.

A ten minute job with Photoshop and a screen grab. Get me a copy of the game and the console hardware and I’ll show you how.

Faking countdown has been done before: see this.

Anyway, who are the “SHITHEADS” here, Nintendo et al, or The Sun?

My money is on The Sun.

Addendum: I’m blocked from commenting on The Sun site now.

There are far too many Facebook “apps” doing the rounds these days which claim to tell you who has viewed your profile. None of them work, and all break the Facebook Terms and Condidtions of Privacy.

Now excuse me while I spend twenty minutes in an uncontrollable laughing spack after thinking about “Facebook Privacy” (oh there I go again).

Seriously though, at the time of writing, Facebook will not allow any application access to the data concerning which profiles you have viewed (without, probably, a court order).

Most of these things are just cunning ploys to put you on to other websites which will either infest your computer with cyberlice or try to steal your credit card details.

Please stop falling for this shit. I’m going to start blocking idiots for this.

If, however, you really do want to find out if a certain person has been viewing your profile…

What? You expect me to give you a tutorial on Waiting Until Someone Goes Out, Breaking and Entering, Password Decryption, and Browser History Recovery?

The last bit, possibly. Otherwise you’re on your own.