Its a few days early, but here is the promised Half Man Half Biscuit Epiphany Crossword:
(click on the thumbnail to get the full size crossword file)
Across
4. King of the Zulu nation 1872-79
5. Kiddies 1/32 scale slot car racing system
6. Popular variety of food poisoning
9. North Wales town where people go to die
10. River in Norfolk
12. One of those clunky metal horrors that you secure to your steering wheel to deter casual car theft
16. The Blue Island
17. Goth band from Northampton
18. A religious/spiritual retreat
21. Chief fireman of Trumptonshire
22. Nasty golfing problem
24. Town in the Netherlands
27. Former “Brain of Britain” (3,5)
28. Originally the term for a novice seaman
29. An excuse for people to wave their arms about in the name of art/music
30. Soap made by Lever Bros in Port Sunlight
31. Firestation forecourt feeling felt
35. Organisers of the UK National Lottery
36. Jamaican bay
37. Shropshire hill
38. Barbican roof singer
41. Horse racing track in Staffordshire
43. Plastic tunnel sold in garden centres
44. Mag for teeny girlies
45. Shoe polish brand
48. Scouse term for either trousers or underpants or both
49. Well known for having an appallingly large ringlet-type hairstyle (5,3)
Down
1. Spanish keeper in the 80’s and 90’s
2. A god squad rock band
3. 750cc Triumph motorbike
7. Venue in Japan, popular for recording live albums
8. Gene Simmons and his motley crew of rockers with the over-the-top make-up
11. Greyhound track near Wolverhampton
13. A Lake District mountain
14. Sheffield theatre
15. Italian bicycle components
19. Decongestant medicine for catarrh and sinus congestion
20. Expensive and once trendy brand of Italian clothing
23. Unilever’s idea of a replacement for butter and margarine
25. Fish oil and orange vitamin pills
26. Irish folksie singer, used to be with Clannad
32. Christmas day lake swimming in Hyde Park
33. Ostentatious fish (3,4)
34. Fabric conditioner
39. High security mental hospital
40. Hills in Somerset, not too far from Bridgwater
42. Tricycle taxi in India
45. Wealth regarded as a God or an evil influence
46. State benefit cheque
47. A high profile stair lift
As Jon at Crackerwax seems to have started spouting poetry, I thought I’d join in.
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
- William Butler Yeats
Recognise it? It was used as the closing monologue of the Heroes episode “The Second Coming”.
We all love word searches, and we all love Half Man Half Biscuit. So, in the spirit of Christmas, here is a wordsearch to commemorate all who have fallen to the Biscuit Curse over the years. There are no clues for the names you are looking for, you’ll just have to figure them out for yourself, all 31 of them.
L I C V V V S V W G E T S S X S G G F F B O B T O D D W Q S
X Z Z S Z S C S E O O C W U T T E O S X I V B L H N O I K J
O T F E W E H O O N F E U A U T R P R X D L M Y H P K L Z P
L W W P X J R Z Y R S G N K W I B Q P D W H H T P A Q L I D
W C G O B G G B W T D L Q G T U Y M U D O D A V I D V I N E
S G M N E S A S Y U E N E R H M J Z R F N N A T O K P E L O
R J U F A S T W N Y H X A X Y T V I K U H A J R S N Q R A K
N Q A K T O P A M L R O P V X I H Z M W O Z I A O V S U Z E
L R K A T N U O M Y G G E P R A E Z K X U V I X C Q G S X A
M V B T Q A R S I T I A L U R E G S A T I V L V D K Q H O R
T L Y P V T L R W Y W W Z O Y A H B T T J D U K J Z S T Y T
E G J P E H O P K L O J H R H V I T A B L M A Y V O R O F H
Z X C N O G H N E K Q T I S V S J W U S Y I P D M E Y N N A
I B S K D M R R N E E L R U H T R A L L Q C N C H O L Z W K
K E J I C E A P N S A L V A D O R D A L I K H T L T O Q D I
N C C E H O W S E W W N F E O Z S H N M E Y O J H J P D Y T
O K I Y F M Y J T S A K S U P C N E R E F M J G U K O E G T
T G B D V T D Z H A E E C H R P R P B Z N O E K V F N E A R
O J N W D C N B W Z N X R T E L C S H E E S P H E L O U L P
N M S O D O A C O L R L V O L R A R E Y S T O D E T M N J U
E U R A B J R U L B W D E U O L N U X V L W P V J L Y O D J
O M J C J I B A S R G B H Y A M Q I Z C L B Y H T U N I F P
O V I A L Y L R T V Q D Z V R E N F E R D A O M A O O S G J
S W J O W F V A E I O R A D H O B A S B S G Y D L M T N D U
T U A J R O J N N R N S T T T V U K I H A P A Q K D S Q J T
I H G W V I L J H H Y A I S B A Q S I R G L I Y K E Z N L S
C E F D L V Q H O L H X U X I F V N Y Y B J L R A T K J Q H
D V O T G E V N L M A X O D G Z J O Q D J P K E F N S K H Z
G F W M K A Z E M P R I N C E S S D I A N A W L M Y D E Y B
P M D K E N T E E Y V Y S Z S K L X Y G T V A R Q X N W B U
The solution is below…..
Read more…
I have made no secret of my hatred of the Citroën Picasso. I feel it is not only an ugly car, but a dangerous one too. Hence my surprise when Citroën started sending me publicity rubbish through the post, and then this email:
Subject: Book A Test Drive Now!
To celebrate with us, hurry to your nearest Citroën dealer and find out how we’re continuing to inspire and delight discerning motorists with our award-winning range and take advantage of 0% APR typical finance* on the Citroën C4 Picasso, Grand C4 Picasso, new C3 Picasso and the C5. You can now purchase any Citroën with an extra £2000 off using the government scrappage scheme.
As I would rather push a Ford than drive a Citroën, I shall be declining your offer.
roëne
Hey Fatty, do you want to lose up to a stone and a half in a week? All while lying around the house doing nothing? Yes? Well this is the scheme for you!
Just look at the bonuses:
- Take a week off work (paid if you’re lucky)
- Have nothing to do but lie around and watch the Sharpe series so many times you can memorise every bloody episode
- Save money – live on nothing but anti-viral drugs, Beecham’s Powders and Lockets
- Have some really groovy hallucinations
All you need to do is combine Pandemic H1N1 with a common chest infection and all this can be yours.
(Caution, may also cause extensive hair loss!)
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