About 2 years ago, drunk, I bought a Radio Controlled car for about a fiver from ASDA. It was crap, not even worthy of being a Christmas present for my best mate's two year old dog. I recently round it, jammed behind a box of CD jewel cases, still with the batteries is, and still working (which is a miracle really, remembering the olden days when an Ever Ready would convert itself into neat acid within a fortnight).

So, what can I do with this tacky oriental toy? What purpose can it be put to?

Firstly, lets look at the car, both with and without its tacky, bolt-on, American-style bodywork.

So you can see, along with the fact that I have some seriously nastily pattened and rumply cushions, that we're dealing with an absurdly high chassied, underpowered (6v, not V6), cheap, tacky, pile of crap. And thats even before we look at the steering. Already I'm thinking of using it as the basis for the next generation of LDV vans.

So, lets look at the steering system. To start with, its digital. An that doesn't mean clever, for once. It means its either full lock left, full lock right, or off. But, as full lock means less than 10°, it doesn't really matter. It won't handle well, but it's less than a foot long, unlike an LDV van.

And now, the power delivery control. That too is digital. Backwards, forwards, off. Brilliant! Just what you'd expect from a tacky piece of crap, or a very, very, very, very, very, very, expensive supercar. Or an LDV van (see tacky piece of crap).

Now, I'd like to take the control unit apart, so I will.


As this point, I'd like to apologise for the crap quality of the pictures, but really you don't need to see them. I'll explain what happens.
When you move one of the control levers, a big lumb of plastic pushes down on a bit of tinfoil. This completes a circuit and thence makes a radio signal go out. A bit like Radio One, but more listenable.
Then, some gubbins on the mobile part, which was built while John Peel was still alive (probably), disregards all the bobbins floating around in the ether and picks up the signal. Ah, it thinks, I'll turn on the motor (forwards) and pull in the steering solenoid (right).

So, you're thinking, why have I just wasted my time reading about the workings of a crap toy, written by a man who obviously has a grudge against LDV, who dislikes Radio One, and invokes the good name of John Peel for no reason?

I don't know, you clicked here, I didn't drag you!

Well, the point is, I want to find something useful, or at least amusing, to do with this thing.
The digitalness of the on/off steering and forward/backward controls makes me want to wire the controller to my PC and play Silly Buggers (rules available on request).
Back in 1986, I would have killed for a piece of kit like this, which we now consider as shabby tat (see LDV again). Back then we had to build our own to get through our 'O' Level Control Technology coursework.

If you have any idea at all for something to do with this thing, please let me know. If you resent me comments about LDV vans, let me know, and if you work for LDV and want to lend me one for a week, please do not hesitate to not let me know.