Tony Blews

In 1998 Claudia Schiffer made an advert for the excrable Citroen Xsara. The car, although bad in every respect, was only the second worst Citroen of recent years. That dubious honour goes to the Xsara Picasso.

The Picasso is one of only two cars that I completely refuse to drive (I’ll reveal the other one in the future). To celebrate the removal of the Picasso from the Citroen UK catalogue I present a badly thought out and poorly executed video:

Anyway, why would a German supermodel want to be associated with a shite French saloon car (apart from the cash – £3,000,000 allegedly)? Surely she’d have been better off whoring herself for the benefit of BMW or Mercedes?

The squad has been named for Gallifrey’s quarter final game against the Cybermen.

The Doctor(sub), The Doctor, The Doctor, The Doctor(goal), The Doctor, The Doctor,The Doctor, The Doctor(sub), The Doctor, The Doctor, The Doctor, The Doctor, The Doctor.

I’ve said it before: “I do not own a television”. I have no need of one, I can watch DVDs on my computer. And, having recently bought and re-watched the 1985 BBC series Edge of Darkness,  I will probably never need to buy one again.

It seems to me that nothing as good will ever be made, and that our future TV viewing will consist of nothing but shite reality programmes and game shows.

So do yourself a favour and order it now. And do me a favour by earning me a few pennies by using this handy link:

I’ve been watching a lot of Star Trek recently, mainly Voyager, and something has been niggling at my mind.

Space, as they say, is big. Really big. Frank Sidebottom also says that Space is ace, and we can’t really argue with that, can we? Space is also, by its very nature, three dimensional.

This seems to passed by the writers of Star Trek. Events always seem to occur within a set plane. For example, Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country begins with the an explosion on the Klingon Moon Praxis producing a shockwave which only seems to travel in two dimensions.

The Praxis Wave

This wave progesses through space until it is encountered by the USS Excelsior and Captain Sulu, who turn into the wave rather than dodging out of its way. Surely the former helmsman of the Enterprise should remember about Up and Down?

The Excelsior, not going up or down.

Ok, I’ll concede that the Praxis wave is a pretty effect, but that is no excuse for ignoring the third dimension.

Time and agin, when ships rendezvous or do battle, they do so sharing a common idea of up and down.

All the right way up!

Now maybe this should be the case during diplomatic meetings, but it does seem a mite strange for a battle situation.

Klingons on the, erm, Port Stern!

In fact, the only instances I can find where ships are not aligned like this is when one of the ships is either out of control or has been disabled.

Can anyone actually give me a valid reason why this always happens, or alternately find an example that contradicts this?

More ships, just for good measure.