I’m not overly impressed by the Olympic Games, nor by the World Cup. I’m even less impressed with our hosting of said Running About A Field Games and our national attempts to host the World Cup Of Kicking A Pig’s Bladder About.
Hence my creation of the Facebook group “We didn’t want to host the Olympics and we don’t want to host the World Cup”.
Well, actually, thats not the real reason I made it. Really, I want to see how many sheeple join it. Considering 387 people pledged this year to talk like Jeremy Clarkson for a day, I have high hopes for this one. (4000+ for the year before, but that event seems to have been deleted.)
Every so often, just when I start thinking that it might actually be of some use, I spot some things that make me realise (again) what an utter pit of shite Facebook actually is. Here is this month’s collation of bull:
“Many visitors to GJV&RTOF ask how can we be sure that they are on facebook.
That is an interesting question. Our resident geek Billy has been doing some research:
There are 11,171,540 UK users of facebook.
Whilst I couldn’t find an UK users by age breakdown, there is a USA one.
Of the USA facebook users, 4.47% are aged 25.
Given the cultural and demographic similarities between the UK and USA (and the fact we have no UK based data) the only assumption we make is that ~4.47% of UK users are 25 years old
4.47% of 11,171,540 is 499368
Therefore, there are ~499368 25year old UK facebook users.
According to the Office of National Statistics, there are approximately 650,000 25 year olds in the UK.
(499368/650000)*100 = 76.82% of UK 25year olds have a facebook account.
Therefore, if you take any given UK 25year old at random – there is a 76.82% chance he/she has a facebook account.
Therefore there is a 76.82% chance that one of them are on facebook.
76.82%*76.82% = 59.02% chance both of them are on facebook.
These numbers are approximate, but even if these stats are as much as 10% off, we’re still talking a 50:50 chance.”
So, you have no direct evidence? A career with the Daily Mail beckons…
- Then we get a truck load of Jade Goody tribute groups (which are nothing like Rolling Stones tribute bands). You were the same people who wanted her hanged, drawn and quartered when she was just a stupid racist.
- And finally, those people who say “We will not pay to use Facebook anymore. We are gone if this happens” – No you won’t be. You are sheep, and you’ve all fallen for some bullshit written by a bloke who comes up with this type of group from time to time.
Rant over. Normal service will soon be resumed.
And to make sure that I’ve insulted everyone:
“Apparently its the worst accident in the history of aviation… A private light aircraft has crashed in a cemetary in Montana. Investigators have found over a thousand bodies.”
As part of my continuing mission to undermine the credibility of Facebook,
I present the event “International Talk Like Jeremy Clarkson Day“.
April 11th 2009.
Let us see how many people sign up for this…
I’m bored again, something that happens with frightening regularity. So today, using the brilliantly simple Gift Creator for Facebook, I’ve bodged up an app that allows you to send weapons to your friends.
Click the pic to go to it (assuming you have an account on farcebook).
This is part of my continuing commitment to undermine the credibility of the damn site, and thus should not be taken serously. Arms dealing is a serious business, and if I had access to a stockpile of firearms, I certainly wouldn’t let you have any. Obviously I’d keep them for when the country turns into Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland™, where all have to scavenge for Guzzoline in customised 1970s cars.
That’ll be Friday then, fingers crossed.
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