Tony Blews

Evony, the browser based game which became notorious for its adverts picturing scantily clad women, amongst other things, has gone a step further with its advertising. From stealing images from costume sites, through some really ropey CGI women, using a model who is a gamer, to outright norkage, it seems that they’ll try anything to attract teenage boys and semi-employed 38 year old geeks to their game. The latest advert doesn’t even name the product, yet has all the hallmarks of their campaign.

First though, here are the adverts from times past:

Classy stuff, i’m sure you’ll agree, and cock all to do with the game which is a poor Civilisation clone with no queen to save, and thus no norks.

And so on to the new advert…

Christ, you’d hardly know it it was for Evony if it wasn’t for the “My Lord” catchphrase, and the the familiar looking button.

Still, it seems to work for them. Gullible idiots seem to be playing the game and even paying for it.

So. If it works for them, it might work for me. If you want to volunteer to show a lot of cleavage to advertise a website of mine, don’t hesitate to contact me. Jon, this does NOT apply to you!

I couple of weeks ago I did some coding for Rob Manuel of b3ta fame, specifically the code to parse a wiki page and present the resulting data in a format usuable to a Flash application.

Rob has used this to load in the levels to his “Psycho Fireman” game, a variation (blatant rip-off) of Sokoban.

Sadly, he suffered a terminal hard-drive crash shortly afterwards, so the game was never finished.
All the game progress was documented here.

Part IV: Some Hope

A text adventure game for the
Amstrad CPC & PCW Computers

A long long time ago….
back in the mid eighties, long before Spaceballs appeared, I came upwith the idea of writing a text adventure game based loosely on the Star Wars films, Queen videos, tedious adverts and old computer jokes.The first version was written for the Sinclair Spectrum, using the Quill adventure creating package from Gilsoft. That was in 1984. By 1988 the project had moved to the Professional Adventure Writer package on the Amstrad CPC6128 and was eventually completed. By this time it included more awful jokes donated by Jason Denton, Brian Frost, David Oldcorn and a few others at WR Tuson College.

In 1989 I moved to Stafford to start university. I sold copies to other people who had been misguided enough to purchase Amstrads. Over FIVE copies of Star Bores were sold. I lost interest after then.

After sixteen years (and twenty eight years since the Star Wars films were made), I got hold of an Amstrad PCW and could read 3″ disks again. It was time to unleash it on the world again.

In 2006 I finally found a permanent resting place for this pile of crap.

Star Bores has the these amazing features:

• Rooms, Objects, Other characters,
• No graphics whatsoever,
• Jokes that were possibly funny about 20 years ago,
• No mention of the Crazy Frog,
• A plot that even a moron can follow.
• 
• The CPM 2.2 version (suitable for use with the 22nice CPM emulator) can be downloaded from here.
  The 22nice emulator can be obtained from somewhere on t’internet I assume.These people were involved the original in project: Tony Blews, Jason Denton, Brian Frost, David Oldcorn (of Starball Pinball fame), Mark Slater, Stephen Jewel, David Capstick, Darren Winterbottom, Steven Shaw, Anil Patel, Jawed Shamsuddin, Paul Webster.
  Any feedback on this thing should be sent to starbores@tonyblews.co.uk.

I’d forgotten that I’d written this shite old game for a competition…

Click to go to the game page