Tony Blews

Having nothing better to do at the moment than lie flat on my back and play on t'internet, i've created this:

Yes, The Half Man Half Biscuit Wiki.

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I'm bored again, something that happens with frightening regularity. So today, using the brilliantly simple Gift Creator for Facebook, I've bodged up an app that allows you to send weapons to your friends.

Click the pic to go to it (assuming you have an account on farcebook).

This is part of my continuing commitment to undermine the credibility of the damn site, and thus should not be taken serously. Arms dealing is a serious business, and if I had access to a stockpile of firearms, I certainly wouldn't let you have any. Obviously I'd keep them for when the country turns into Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland™, where all have to scavenge for Guzzoline in customised 1970s cars.

That'll be Friday then, fingers crossed.

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After weeks of fanny-ing about trying to decide what to do with it, I've finally redesigned the Shrewsbury Arms website. (Redesigned is far too strong a term, as I just used Thingamablog to bosh the thing together, just like all my sites these days. Hell, if it works, go with it!)

Oh go on, click here!

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Ideally, I'd like a 110 Hard-top, but i'm really not fussy.

So, why would I want such a vehicle?

The Defender is big, ugly, thirsty, noisy, and desperately un-cool. Much like myself. Question answered.

In a world where the Volkswagen Kombi has become the epitomy of cool, I'd rather drive around in something that actually "does what it says on the tin". Seriously, I've always loved the Landrover as not only a style icon, but a bloody good four-by-four. The Defender must be the only currently available vehicle, over ten years old, that carries any of the spirit of its original incarnation. Plus, if the British Army can't kill them, no-one can.

This is where you come in.

I would like you to contribute to my fund for buying a Defender. I work in a very low-wage job, but i'm saving up for one. I came up with the idea of this site after seeing hundreds of begging sites over the years, but i'm not begging.

No. Seriously, I'm not.

I am willing to display the name (and web address) of any contributor somewhere on the vehicle for a minimum of two years. Obviously the size of the donation would correspond to the size, and location, of the placement. For example, £500 might get you an entire door, £300 for a front wing, or £25 for a 6"x3" block somewhere on the bodywork. The bumpers are already accounted for.

Think of this as an advertising opportunity. Be part of the "Internet Defender Project". Once I have the vehicle, i'll set up a website thanking everyone involved, which will run for two years. How cool would it be to be part of this?

At the moment i'm just canvassing for pledges, to see if this project will pan out.

You can contact me at defender@tonyblews.co.uk to ask any questions, or offer money. I'll set up a paypal account soon.

If you are involved in a company which sells Ex-MOD LR kit, you could offer me a big discount!

If you are an owners club or magazine, you could give me some free publicity. the website address is www.iwantadefender.co.nr, but you knew that already, didn't you?

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After nearly a year of idleness, procrastination, forgetfulness and down right lack of inspiration, I've finally managed to get round to bodging up the long promised Shrewsbury Arms website. No longer will www.shrewsbury-arms.co.uk direct you to a pisspoor myspace page (which will be deleted very soon).

Now you can revel in the poorly designed equivalent of a spanner in the gas turbine of the internet that is The Shrewsbury Arms Website. Christ, with a hard sell like that, I should go in to advertising.

I'd like to go into advertising, but only if armed with a machine gun.... Anyway, click on the nice picture of the nice pub...

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I recently found this link on Slashdot. Some muppet tried to make a WAP client for a VIC 20. Oh, it was me.

The link to the site from Slashdot is broken, but via the magic of keeping archives of all my old stuff, I can bring it back.

So click here to see it in all its lack of glory. 

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A very long time ago, I ran a site at www.villains.co.uk. Now, I've dusted it off, uploaded it once more, and parked it at www.villains.co.nr.

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Oops. I started this thing a couple of months ago, and forgot to link it from anywhere.

Your Car is Rubbish! 

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In 1989 I moved to Stafford to start university. I sold copies to other people who had been misguided enough to purchase Amstrads. Over FIVE copies of Star Bores were sold. I lost interest after then.

After sixteen years (and twenty eight years since the Star Wars films were made), I got hold of an Amstrad PCW and could read 3" disks again. It was time to unleash it on the world again.

In 2006 I finally found a permanent resting place for this pile of crap.

Star Bores has the these amazing features:

• Rooms, Objects, Other characters,
• No graphics whatsoever,
• Jokes that were possibly funny about 20 years ago,
• No mention of the Crazy Frog,
• A plot that even a moron can follow.

These people were involved the original in project: Tony Blews, Jason Denton, Brian Frost, David Oldcorn (of Starball Pinball fame), Mark Slater, Stephen Jewel, David Capstick, Darren Winterbottom, Steven Shaw, Anil Patel, Jawed Shamsuddin, Paul Webster.
Any feedback on this thing should be sent to starbores@tonyblews.co.uk.

 

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