Tony Blews

The New Commandments

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:43:07 +0100

"And the Great One did descend from the mountain, bearing a strange staff,
and looking a lot more like Neptune than he had before.
To the faithful he gave a list of things that should be, and some that should not be.
All who followed his commandments were happy, and those who disobeyed
were cursed with an eternity of non-standard cables and missing driver disks."

Here are what I shall term as the "New Commandments".

There shalt be no other interface than mine - All mobile phones, mp3 players, digital cameras and their like shall use a standard USB connector to interface to a computer, and if applicable as a power supply for charging. Nobody want to have to carry a bag of different adaptors, especially when the likes of Nokia can't decide what size charger you need.
Spread the interface, for the interface is good - All desktop peripherals that use USB (and they all should), must include a built in mini-hub, or at least the ability to daisy chain one device.
Thou shalt not have any graven driver disks - Every USB device that requires special drivers that store them on the device itself in a sort of memory stick ROM. Nothing is more annoying that re-installing your machine an finding that you've misplaced a couple of inportant device drivers.
Honour thy specification, and do it properly - If I want to use my camera as a memory stick, I should be able to do it. It shows up as a removable drive on the PC, so it should bloody well connect to the printer for direct printing.
...seriously, do it properly - if the maximum cable length is 4m, bloody well work on a 4m cable.

Follow those five simple rules, and I won't be forced to visit you with a flensing knife.

Difficult Second Album

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 00:52:14 +0100

Out of sheer boredom, I'm playing the Debut Album Game, again.

Artist: Beer Hacket

Title by Mary S. Calderone

Image Source: Leave Me Out With The Waste, This is Not What I Do, filtered, of course.

Psycho Fireman

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 20:05:01 +0100

I couple of weeks ago I did some coding for Rob Manuel of b3ta fame, specifically the code to parse a wiki page and present the resulting data in a format usuable to a Flash application.

Rob has used this to load in the levels to his "Psycho Fireman" game, a variation (blatant rip-off) of Sokoban.

You can follow Rob's progress with the game on the E4 website.

Fantastic Contraption

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:40:16 +0100

Help, I've become obsessed with Fantastic Contraption!

If you don't know about it, its a clever little flash physics game that has very simple controls, and looks like this...

Here are my solutions to the 20 free levels, varying from the the obvious to the wildly improbable:

1: Rolling away - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=403635

2: Reach Up - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=403881

3: Mind the Gap - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=403917

4: Junkyard - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=403955

5: The Wall - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=403987

6: On a Roll - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404036

7: Full Up - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404115

8: Higher - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404174

9: Around the Bend - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404202

10: Up the Hump - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404446

11: Mission to Mars - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404475

12: Up the Stairs - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=407411

13: Big Ball - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404695

14: Four Balls - not quite, but very close!

15: Down Under - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=407780

16: Awash - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=407330

17: Handling - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404798

18: Tube - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=404892

19: Back and Forth - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=408281

20: Unpossible - http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=408229

3 Skypephone developing problems

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:14:48 +0100

Damn, my Skypephone (see earlier posts here and here) is playing up.

As posted on the 3 Skypephone forum, the problem is:

"If the phone has been plugged into the pc for a while (either to use as a modem or to sync the contents of the media folders), it has a habit of shutting down. After a restart it refuses to accept that the sim card is installed, but will accept the sim card from my Huawei USB modem.

The Huawei will accept the sim from the skypephone, but neither of my other older 3 phones will (both Motorolas).

If I leave the phone off for 6 hours, it starts reading its own sim again. Any idea what causes this, and how it can be fixed?"

If you have any ideas about this, or are having similar problems, the relevant thread on the forum is here.

International Talk Like Jeremy Clarkson Day

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:50:45 +0100

As part of my continuing mission to undermine the credibility of Facebook,

I present the event "International Talk Like Jeremy Clarkson Day".

April 11th 2009.

Let us see how many people sign up for this...

Mobile Internet Speed Test

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:57:55 +0100

Today being Veteran's Day, I was out at the National Memorial Arboretum at Alrewas with a minibus full old people.

So, here is a photo of the Lancaster Bomber that did a fly-past. Clicking on it will take you to some more photos...

While out there, close to the middle of nowhere, I compared the connection speeds of the mobile and USB dongle I use to connect to t'internet.

Here is where I was sitting:

View Larger Map

And here are the results...

Firstly, with the Amoi WP-S1 3/Skype Phone:

And with the 3 Mobile Huawei E220 USB Modem:

Not really that much difference is there? To be honest, the dongle couldn't get a HSPDA signal and defaulted to 3G, but was still slightly faster.

Spoof 2001 / Hello Advert

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:41:59 +0100

A while ago, as a result of a drunken conversation about how all advertising was rubbish and even a monkey could come up with workable ideas, I made this thing. Then lost it.

Now I've found it again.

Did Hello magazine ever use such an obvious idea? Or Heat? I don't know. But if they do, I want a cheque.

3 Mobile Huawei E220 USB Modem

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:50:51 +0100

In the past I bought a 'phone that did proper internet access. I even reviewed it here and here!

Well, now I've gone and bought a 3 Mobile Internet dongle thing. Specifically, the Huawei E220.

So, what do you get for your 50 quid?

Apart from the device itself, the DVD style box contains a SIM card, a manual that I didn't bother even opening, two USB cables and some padding that I didn't bother to eat.

No installation CD? Nope. The clever little chappy installs all it needs from an built in memory stick type thingummy which pretend to be a CDROM. Take a not, USB device makers: This is the way forward.

One of the USB cables is a standard 6 inch one, which works ok but means that the modem is hanging about where I usually have my mouse (never having got used to the crappy touchpads that most laptops have). The other is a much longer affair with two Type A connectors at one end, just in case your computer can't push enough power out from one socket. This is fairly useless to me, as the added cable length means the device needs the two plugs to be connected, and the two USB sockets on my Dell are on opposite sides of the case. It works great if I have my "media slice" connected, as that gives me 2 extra USB sockets on the back, but it also triples the weight of the machine, so I usually leave it to gather dust.

I'm using the long cable to connect to my telephone instead.

What you probably can't tell from the photo, is that the sim card holder is held in place with sellotape. It won't fall out during normal use, but did pop out a few times while in my bag. Hence the classic British engineering fix.

So, how fast is it?

Firstly, here is what I got through my phone on a good day:

And here is what the new dongle gives me:

A bit faster, as you can see. I managed to get up to about 2900kbps by standing outside the house and getting a clear line of sight to the nearest transmitter, which is about 300 yards away.

With this "proper" internet modem connected, rather than the mobile phone, Three aren't restricting what I can access. So now I can waste my time on b3ta, and won't get an electronic telling off if I accidentally try and watch some young flibbertigibbet shaking her udders on YouTube.

So what does it cost to run?

Well, you have a choice: £10 for 1gb, £15 for 3gb or £25 for 7gb.

A nice range of prices for you there. Being a bit skint, I opted to only spash out a tenner, and my 1gb lasted a week.

Luckily, you can stick on as many addons as you have the money for, and don't need to wait until with end of the month. Next time, however, I will be getting the £25 top up (assuming that I get hold of some money).

I'm quite happy with it, currently. When I get the chance, I'm going to have a wander in to the countryside, and see how well the modem (and indeed the AMOI phone) function when quite far from a transmitter.

Update: Thanks to 3 Mobile Buzz for linking to this page!

The Debut Album Game

Fri, 30 May 2008 19:48:29 +0100

As spotted on b3ta, the Debut Album Game.

Here is the gist of it... "A random wikipedia article for your band name, a random quote for your title and a randomflickr pic for the album cover."

Well, here is mine:

Now all I need is some musical talent, some friends, and a drum machine.

Interweb Weapons Dealing

Wed, 21 May 2008 18:20:33 +0100

I'm bored again, something that happens with frightening regularity. So today, using the brilliantly simple Gift Creator for Facebook, I've bodged up an app that allows you to send weapons to your friends.

Click the pic to go to it (assuming you have an account on farcebook).

This is part of my continuing commitment to undermine the credibility of the damn site, and thus should not be taken serously. Arms dealing is a serious business, and if I had access to a stockpile of firearms, I certainly wouldn't let you have any. Obviously I'd keep them for when the country turns into Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland™, where all have to scavenge for Guzzoline in customised 1970s cars.

That'll be Friday then, fingers crossed.

I am 1337

Fri, 02 May 2008 02:22:22 +0100

I am 1337, apparently.

Somehow, in Haxor speeke, the numbers 1337 translate to to LEET. Which means Elite, or so they tell me.

So, i.m either a much loved 8-bit space shooty-trading game, or a really bad Lotus. Oh I hope it's the game. Really.

Anyway, why am I "1337"? Well, it is all because of this:

See? Even cafepress think i'm "1337"!

For some reason, 1337 got scrawled on the side of my Cafepress shipment. A shipment in a 7x7x7 inch box. That, by the way, is 343 cubic inches. In real terms, its the engine displacement size of a small American car, about sixteen Fiestas or an eighth of a fishing vessel's massive engine plant.

Seven by seven by seven. I don't actually recall ordering anything that big.

So, what was in the box?

Well, to start with, a shed load of bubble wrap. Honestly, freg-loads of it. I ate most of it.

And then, at the heart...

One ceramic tile and two small badges (one not pictured, obviously).

What? They posted me that in 7x7x7 box? Jesus H. Christ on a Moped.Two slats of card and a Jiffy would have done!

Think of the environment! (Bubble wrap can function as an insulation medium, unless you let me run up and down on a wheelie chair popping it all).

Anyhow, enough of the complaining about the shipping box, let me tell you about the products...

Well. I can't find a single fault with the badges or tile that I ordered. Both were printed perfectly. I'm really impressed. I'm so impressed that i'm going to use cafepress to supply a large order of badges for a project i'm working on. I hope to see their shirt printing results soon (which, I am told will not take up an entire container).

I am impressed. So impessed that I urge you to click this button:

Best advert of the year (so far)

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 02:06:08 +0100

What happens when you use the best driving song of all time (as selected by Top Gear, and independently verified by me) to advertise the best chocolate made (as decided by me)?

This..... enjoy.

Brilliant!

I am a Twit, The Sontarans are sh!t

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 02:06:36 +0100

Ok Jon, I've started using twitter now. Are you happy?

I hope you are. Currently I'm so unhappy and angry that I may need to go out and kick a tramp.

What could possibly bring on this foul mood? Why its the latest concept to by urinated on by our old favourite Russell T. Davies, the Sontarans.

Lets have a quick look at them from back in the days when they weren't shite and didn't do silly dance...

Amoi WP-S1 3/Skype Phone - 5 months later

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:22:31 +0000

Last November, I bought a 3 Skypephone, AKA an AMOI WP-S1, AKA an AMOI 8512. My original review of it is here.

(blurry photo taken on my old phone)

After five months of continuous use, I've decided to take another look at the phone.

And it is in remarkably good shape, despite being dropped, splashed, almosted drowned, and generally abused. The magnet holding the battery cover in place hasn't fallen off yet, which is unexpected. Some of the rubberised coating has become a bit worn, but thats not really a big issue.

Remarkably, neither the screen nor camera lens have suffered any damage at all. The buttons all still work, and the USB port has failed to go all loose and wonky.

Physically, it seems about as indestructable as my old Motorola V600 (but I haven't thrown it at a wall yet - most likely due to not having anything to do with O2 these days).

Skype:

Well, yes. I've used it twice, and that was just to see if it worked. I only know one avid Skyper (who will admit to it, anyway), and I never bought it for the Skype functionality anyway. It works.

MSN:

It works now, after 3 finally got around to supporting it properly, but the app is a pain to use on the handset.

PC Connectivity:

To start with, the software seemed overly complicated and tedious. Why, I thought, couldn't I just plug it in and use it like a USB memory stick? Well. After I found the MicroSD card taped inside the packaging (just as I was about to chuck all the needless cardboard into the recycling bin) and installed it, thats exactly how it works. It's just a pity that it won't work that way with the internal memory.

MoDem:

This is the best thing about the phone. True, the connection speed is only ~~115.2kpbs~~ 180kbps download / 43kbps upload at the moment, but that is double what I was getting through the internal modem on the laptop on a normal dial-up connection. Sadly, the modem now refuses to work when the AMOI's drivers are installed, but that is hardly a big loss as it was just causing me to run up big phone bills at work.

Pretty much everything i've tried is working over this connection, with the exception of the YouTube multi-uploader. I haven't tried World of Warcraft yet, because I'd like to retain some of what little of a life I have left.

The connection speed may sound low, but its enough to watch videos without them stopping all the time.

3 do have annoying policy concerning what they term as "adult" sites, though. You can't access them. No chance. This is annoying as i used to use b3ta a lot, but now I can't (apart from one day last month when their policy got relaxed - or got broken, more likely - for about 6 hours). Also, quite a few of my friends' sites have been tagged as "adult", as they are a sweary bunch of troublemakers.

All this talk of data transfer brings me on to probably the most important thing about a mobile phone...

Running costs:

Calls to normal numbers cost 12p per minute, with texts at 12p each. You can buy add-on bundles to make these cheaper, which I only tend to do for texts, as I try to not to ring many people (apart from taxis, pizza delivery places and pubs).

Data is charged at a quid per megabyte, which sounds expensive because it is. However, the internet add-on bundles can save you loads of money and cost 50p for a day, £2.50 a week, or £5 a month.

I'm still not sure what the "fair use" data limits are for the weekly and monthly blocks, but daily seems to be about 100mb. Which isn't bad.

I tend to stick on a load of daily blocks in one go, as its easy to exceed 100mb in a day (if, for example, you decide to watch all the Happy Tree Friends episodes whilst drunk), and you can move into the next day's block without having to wait until midnight.

All in all, it cost me about £20 every three weeks.

So whats wrong with it?

The camera doesn't have a light or a flash. <sarcasm>Oh shame</sarcasm>.

The microSD card was cunningly hidden in the depths of the packaging and nearly got binned. And doesn't come with an adapter.

I can't get the modem to work with the built-in bluetooth on my laptop, yet it works with an external dongle. Not really an issue, as anyone likely to want to connect a laptop to their phone will probably have a USB cable on them.

And thats it.

Verdict?

It is still a brilliant and cheap little phone, and works almost perfectly. I'd like to see a new version that does full mobile broadband without me having to carry an additional dongle, and maybe a future one will. I'll upgrade to that when it comes out, but for now I can handle the slower speed. You should buy one now.

Oh, you want a rating? Right. Which 80s popsters had a song called "System Addict"?

Thats right. Five Star.

EDIT: In the end, I did my a mobile broadband thingummy. See it here: 3 Mobile Broadband.

i'm like in with you.

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 13:33:03 +0000

Oh look, another social networking site. But, it seems, one with a difference.

This one is called "i'm like in with you", and makes as much sense to me as Quantum Mechanics would to an earwig. Sure its got lots of pretty colours and makes nice noises, but so do those things you attach to prams to keep children amused, and I grew out of those when I was about 32. Still, its not as bad as MySpace.

Anyway, if you can work this bloody thing out, please hesistate to tell me about it. And, as usual, if you want to sent me information about your latest medication offer, the address is hello@floppycock.org.

Truly Awful Goth Jokes #1

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 04:05:44 +0000

For those of you too tight to shell out a few quid for the Goth Jokes book (available here), I've made a short animation of one of the lower quality jokes. This time i'm using Moviestorm, the beta version of which is free. Oh, and some speech synthesis software was used too.

Amoi WP-S1 3/Skype Phone

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:22:15 +0000

Whats this? Two reviews in on day? Holy crap.

Anyway, on with the motley......

This week I got a bit drunk and bought a new phone, a 3 Skype phone. In reality, its an Amoi (no wok included) WP-S1, and this is what it looks like...

Snazzy, eh?

For £49 its not really a bad bit of kit. True, it is on the 3 network, but after being frigged about by O2 and Virgin over the last two weeks I'll try any alternative.

So, what does it do?

Well. It does all your normal phone crap, plus it allegedly automatically uses Skype when you want it to. I say allegedly as I can't even get mine to log in using my Skype details. And 3's usually unhelpful customer support have no idea what to do.(But at least they can't beat the O2 monkey who asked me, twenty minutes into our conversation about why my GPRS had been cancelled, if I owned a mobile phone. No, Sherlock, I can process GSM signals in my head.)

Anyway, thats not important. What can it do?

For me the big win is that you can use it as a modem and get 'net access. True, its only about 116Kbps, but that better than I was getting from O2. The downside to this is that the software supplied completely screws up all your existing modem drivers. Not a big loss for most people, but bloody annoying nonetheless.

Sadly the internet service is somewhat restricted. Mail and Web services seem okay (with exceptions), but thats it. FTP is blocked, as are MSN Messenger (probably a good thing) and no gaming stuff will work.

For some reason, POP access to my gmail account won't work, but I can still access the gmail website. Odd.

Access to sites like B3ta are blocked, but thats probably a good thing for me.

A big problem is Facebook. I was never a big fan of it (see elsewhere) until I got the phone. Now I'm on it all the time, mainly because you can access straight from the phone. This is my biggest U-turn since I suddenly decided that VW campers were indeed a bit cool.

The FTP thing is annoying, as I have to update these pages via FTP. I means that I have to go to the pub and use the WIFI machine. Like I needed an excuse.

So... ultimate verdict, is it any good?

Yup. Best phone i've had in ages.

Update: Yay! FTP / IM / Flickr uploader.... it all works now!

Another update: How am I getting on with it? Amoi WP-S1 3/Skype Phone - 5 months later

VIC 20 WAP?

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 03:58:42 +0100

I recently found this link on Slashdot. Some muppet tried to make a WAP client for a VIC 20. Oh, it was me.

The link to the site from Slashdot is broken, but via the magic of keeping archives of all my old stuff, I can bring it back.

So click here to see it in all its lack of glory.

Heroes

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 23:52:20 +0100

Well, i've just spent a day watching the TV series Heroes. And when I say "a day", I mean "a day". As in nearly 24 hours. In one sitting. All 23 episodes.

I couldn't stop watching it.

It has been a long time since a TV series has captivated me so. I'm now very tired, as you would expect.

"Wow!" is all I can now say/type.