Tony Blews

Facebook is now as bad as MySpace

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 02:22:17 +0000

I did like Facebook for a while. It seemed like a more sober and sensible version of MySpace. Now look at it.

I do not want to be a vampire. My skin is pasty enough as it is, and I shun sunlight anyway.

I do not want to be a Werewolf. I'm hairy enough right now.

I do not want to have a Poo Fight with you. That is just disgusting.

Why the hell would I want to join a group called "Make Brian Get His Hair Cut"? Maybe I should start a group called "Balding Longhaired Ukulele Playing Ex-Goths With Shite Cameras". No doubt I'd get 732 members within a week.

Ok, so I would like to be a pirate, because I look good in a pirate shirt. But i'm always going to be more Barbossa than Sparrow, so I'll decline that invitation too. Actually, i'm not even cool enough to be Barbossa. I'm not even the fat idiot who hangs about with the bloke from The Office. I'm not even as cool as the monkey.

I'm bored with your likeness quizzes, fed up with that world travelling bear, utterly tits-off with whatever you've written on my wall today, and not only cheesed off, but utterly fondued off with the whole bloody thing.

I'm about 3 microns (because saying "this far" won't work in a typed rant) away from deleting my facebook account. If you want to contact me, use email. Or the phone. Don't frig about using a crappy social networking site that annoys the teeth out of me so much that I will never need to see a dentist ever again.

Oh, by the way... Buy my book... but don't complain if its crap.

Internationalism

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 03:09:29 +0100

Having just checked the little map thing down there on the left, I'd like to welcome visitors from the following countries (please forgive me if I get this wrong as the map isn't too clear in one or two cases....)

Austrailia, Denmark, Eire, Israel, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden and the good old USA.

If you're reading this and not from the UK, please email me and tell me your opinion of my ill thought out ramblings. The address is (do NOT click on that, and don't email bucket@tonyblews.co.uk either, unless you really want... no, just don't, ok?)

Contact Me.

Fri, 19 May 2006 11:00:52 +0100

Contact details

Should you wish to contact me by email¹, you can sent it to tony@tonyblews.co.uk.

You can sent a FAX to 07050699204, or leave a drunken, rambling message on my answering machine at 07005961293. if its really funny i'll bung it on the site! (These numbers come from my Stupid Little Shop - go there and buy stuff!)

"So if you want my address, it's number one at the end of the bar, where I sit with the broken angels, clutching at straws and nursing a scar" -Sugar Mice, Marillion

You can find me on b3ta as coobeastie, and on MySpace as tonyblews.
On the Live For Speed network I drive as "tonyblews". See the nubbin below for my current status...

Notes

1 - Unlike some Vikings, I do not want spam. So kindly shove your head up your arse before trying to sell me: Viagra, Stolen Copies of Photoshop, Penis Enlargement, anything American, Democracy, tips on the stock market, Nigerian fortunes, The Grand Duchy of Luxemboug, Keith Harris and Orville.

For every item of "Spam" or "Unsolicited Comercial Email" that I recieve, I am sworn to kill a kitten. Currently I have a backlog of over 200,000 kittens to get through. Do me a favour, try and hawk your fake medications to this man: Mr. Speed Camera.