Tony Blews

B3ta Bonus

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:06:12 +0000

A double B3ta bonus week for me. Not only do I get a mention in the newsletter, but my pen arrived in the post (payment for helping Rob with his game).

Difficult Second Album

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 00:52:14 +0100

Out of sheer boredom, I'm playing the Debut Album Game, again.

Artist: Beer Hacket

Title by Mary S. Calderone

Image Source: Leave Me Out With The Waste, This is Not What I Do, filtered, of course.

Psycho Fireman

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 20:05:01 +0100

I couple of weeks ago I did some coding for Rob Manuel of b3ta fame, specifically the code to parse a wiki page and present the resulting data in a format usuable to a Flash application.

Rob has used this to load in the levels to his "Psycho Fireman" game, a variation (blatant rip-off) of Sokoban.

You can follow Rob's progress with the game on the E4 website.

The Debut Album Game

Fri, 30 May 2008 19:48:29 +0100

As spotted on b3ta, the Debut Album Game.

Here is the gist of it... "A random wikipedia article for your band name, a random quote for your title and a randomflickr pic for the album cover."

Well, here is mine:

Now all I need is some musical talent, some friends, and a drum machine.

I have in my hand a piece of paper

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 02:22:40 +0000

"I have in my hand a piece of paper," famous words, once spoken by Arthur Neville Chamberlain as he got off an aeroplane and announced that there would be "peace in our time".

To quote James Tiberius Kirk, "those words were spoken by me" (apart from the peace/time bit), last time someone telephoned me while I was on the khazi.

But enough of me re-iterating quotes to try and look intelligent, when all can plainly see the joke is based on a 1990 era Viz cartoon, let us get on with this pointless log entry (oh behave).

Not many days ago, I recieved a package containing a copy of my very own ~~rubbish~~ quality book "How many Goths does it take to change a light bulb?"

Now, once again, "I have in my hand a piece of paper". And, I'm in the toilet (as that, oddly is where the best lighting in the house is), and i've used my cameraphone to take the picture. _{Feckin' quality
linking that was. Unless anyone noticed the tense-change...}

So here is physical proof of the book...

Hmm. Something is missing, but I can't think what... Oh yeah, the FRIGGING TITLE! Still, at least my name is on it. Anyway, let us look inside.

Actually, i'm quite happy about the whole thing, apart from the cover. Honestly, I spent minutes thinking of that title and might as well have used "Coppulam Eam Est Se Non Posit Acceptera Jocularum". There are a few printing errors that didn't appear in the original version (such as the footer line breakage that i'm pointing to up there), but I'm still happy with it. And I'll be even happier if you click here are buy a copy to feed my nicotine, alcohol and curry habits.

Also, I can now say I am a published author and you are not. And that, in a very small way, makes me better than you.

How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 22:12:28 +0100

Holy shuddering crap, whats this? The Blews has finally finished the often talked about book!

Yes the amazing "How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?", 40 pages of rib-tickling gothy mirth, is available now from lulu.com.

Just click on the cover image below, and part with your money. Its only £3.99 (plus P+P), and the 76p I make from each copy is all that stands between me and an empty glass. Buy 3 copies and I can afford a full pint!

The Secret Life Of Snooker Tables

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 02:52:45 +0100

By sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night, I discovered why our snooker table is so smooth.

Click for bigger.

b3ta user Rapitinui made this clever animated version...

Happy Fun Valentine Goatse Pull Toy

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 19:32:13 +0000

Do you want a special Valentines edition of the Christmas Goatse Pull Toy?

Here is how to make one of these things for real.

Happy Fun Goatse Christmas Pull Toy

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 19:28:19 +0000

On December 20th, 2006, Puromycin posted this image on the b3ta messageboard.

Click for instructions on how to make the real thing!

Come On Baby, Light My Fire

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 10:54:29 +0100

Appearance in the B3ta email 04 AUG 2006
Inadvisable lighter trick
"Having read in your worthy missive that disposing of batteries by fire is not very impressive," writes Tony Blews, "We decided (instead) to cast our communal lighter unto the flames. And film it."
Yup, that looks more impressive. But don't blame us, Tony. You were clearly drunk and reckless.