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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Can I have a new spine please?

For this post I was planning to bang on about other "classic" films from the video stores of our youth, following the Blue Thunder post.

Sadly, I managed to injure myself and have become somewhat self-absorbed in my agony.

However, after finally getting up to A+E I can reveal these vital pieces of information:

  1. Sneezing can result in displaced vertebrae.
  2. Walking with the aforementioned displaced vertabrae is really painful, and at times impossble.
  3. Crutches are not as much help as you would imagine if you suddenly have a spasm and fall over.
  4. Arriva have at least one arsehole for a driver.
  5. Arriva have at least one really lovely driver.
  6. Co-Codamol is a good painkiller.
  7. So is alcohol.
  8. But the two don't mix too well.

So there you are.

Also, having a dump hurts like hell, and arse-wiping is difficult if you can't twist your back or bend over.

Posted by Tony at 1:49 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS), Announcements (RSS), Ranting (RSS)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Shock Photo of Tony With a Bird on His Arm

These days it is very rare to find me with a bird on my arm. Mainly because i'm fat, old, grey haired and ugly.

This is about the best bird I can get to come anywhere near me.

 

Posted by Tony at 1:05 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS), Drinking (RSS)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

More birthday musings

Cor blimey, would you believe it?

I got a message today from myspace telling me I share a birthday with this man:

 

Crikey, he even looks like me! (Obviously he has more hair, and it hasn't fallen out as much as mine has).

Who is this chap? Well, its none other than Peter Mayhew, or as you may know him better, Chewbacca.

Hurrah and Huzzar! I share a birthday with a man who has proved that having no sense of style, crap hair (which does NOT make me look gay, despite what Jon thinks) and rubbish glasses need not be barriers to being successful. Provided, that is, you are 7'3" tall, and are willing to dress up as a ginger yeti.

Beat that one, Crackerwax!

Posted by Tony at 6:32 PM
Edited on: Tuesday, May 20, 2008 6:37 PM
Categories: About Me (RSS)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Thirty Seven and Counting... Part 2

I've had quite a nice birthday. Loads of people bought me drinks.

It has only been marred by a wanker in a silver Jaguar XK who decided to sit through a green light, then belt across a crossing on red causing me to go flying and drop my curry.

But thats not important, and this is!

Jon over at Crackerwax has written me a happy birthday song. And here it is:

Thanks Jon, I think.

Posted by Tony at 11:49 PM
Edited on: Tuesday, May 20, 2008 11:10 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS), Announcements (RSS), Ranting (RSS), Sounds (RSS)

Thirty Seven and Counting...

Hurrah, apparently, for today I am 37 years of age, if you believe my driving license (so good i've been given six points!), passport (expired and unlikely to get re-newed), bank records and all that cock. However, that little bit of plastic that they tag new-borns with claims I was born on the 18th.

Hence I'm allowing myself two birthdays. Last night was the "don't tell anyone, just get nicely drunk with my close mates" birthday.

Posted by Tony at 2:22 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS), Announcements (RSS)

Saturday, February 23, 2008

I am giant.

I just have to post this photograph of myself and Little Jeni. It makes me chuckle.

  

Sorry Jeni.

Posted by Tony at 12:25 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS), Gallery (RSS)

Sunday, June 24, 2007

About me

Basic Information

Name: Anthony John Blews
Birthdate: 19th May 197cough cough splutter something
Mother's Maiden Name - for the purposes of Identity Fraud: Wythington-Smythe
Hair: Black, tending to grey, but mostly missing at the front.
Eyes: two blue/grey ones, depending on my mood
Height: Approximately 6'5" [under review, as I heighted in at 6'7" last time I was at the Doc's]
Weight: Approximately 16 stone. [as above, but 13 stone!]
Occupation: Taxi Driver, but previously: Programmer, Technician, Forecourt Attendant, Charity Worker, Shop Assistant, Beer Tester.
Location: Stafford, Staffordshire. (Previously Preston, Lancashire)

There will be a copy of my CV here soon, but its still being messed with.
Posted by Tony at 2:22 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS)

A man's best friend is his duck

a duck will bring you good luck
Posted by Tony at 1:16 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS)

Friday, May 19, 2006

Contact Me.

Contact details

Should you wish to contact me by email1, you can sent it to tony@tonyblews.co.uk.

You can sent a FAX to 07050699204, or leave a drunken, rambling message on my answering machine at 07005961293. if its really funny i'll bung it on the site! (These numbers come from my Stupid Little Shop - go there and buy stuff!)

"So if you want my address, it's number one at the end of the bar, where I sit with the broken angels, clutching at straws and nursing a scar" -Sugar Mice, Marillion

You can find me on b3ta as coobeastie, and on MySpace as tonyblews.
On the Live For Speed network I drive as "tonyblews". See the nubbin below for my current status...



Notes

1 - Unlike some Vikings, I do not want spam. So kindly shove your head up your arse before trying to sell me: Viagra, Stolen Copies of Photoshop, Penis Enlargement, anything American, Democracy, tips on the stock market, Nigerian fortunes, The Grand Duchy of Luxemboug, Keith Harris and Orville.

For every item of "Spam" or "Unsolicited Comercial Email" that I recieve, I am sworn to kill a kitten. Currently I have a backlog of over 200,000 kittens to get through. Do me a favour, try and hawk your fake medications to this man: Mr. Speed Camera.

Posted by Tony at 11:00 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS), Contact Me (RSS)

In celebration of my Birthday

This post marks the time that I entered the world.
There is no reason for it to be here.
Posted by Tony at 2:22 AM
Edited on: Tuesday, June 24, 2008 2:41 AM
Categories: About Me (RSS), Announcements (RSS)