Tony Blews

Vauxhall Zafira

Recently I hired a Zafira by accident. We needed to get seven people from the Midlands down to London, and back. Ideally I would have taken a Ford Torneo.

Alas, that was not to be the case....

Imagine, if you will, that you have been tasked to make a 7 seat people carrier out of a saloon car. Imagine, that you've been asked to make it as uncomfortable as possible. Now imagine that you've been told to make it ugly, too. And, just for good measure, you've be told to give it an engine from a knackered old Cavalier.

Welcome to the new style Vauxhall Zafira 1.6.

For starters, the Zafira is touted as a 7 seater, which it clearly isn't. Sure, it has seven seats, but only one is usable by a normal human. The only way a normal human can fit comfortably into this car is as the front passenger.

The middle-row seats have no leg-room at all. I spent most of our journey with the kneecap of the middle row, middle passenger in my ear, and the knees of the off-side middle halfway up my spine.

And as for the rear set of seats, it was lucky that our group included two dwarfs. Nobody over 5 feet tall could ever use them comfortably. Unless they had detachable legs.

When it comes to the drivers seat, there is no way to describe how uncomfortable it is. I have never before driven a car that made my entire lower body go numb. Not even the Fiat Doblo comes anywhere close.

Performance wise, the Zafira is a complete waste of space. Our testing, admitted whilst fully loaded gave us a 0-60 time of ablout 18 seconds, and a top speed of about 110mph. Woefully shite where compared to a Ford Torneo.

So, you have a slow, ugly, cramped, ultimately shite vehicle, which is in every way more rubbish that a converted plumber's van. Its good to know that Vauxhall are keeping to their standards.

If Vauxhall did more of this, there'd be fewer Zafira on the road

This Vaux-bashing is based on one hire-car, a 1.6 petrol Zafira. If you feel the need to argue with this, please email me. Somehow I don't thing you will.