Tony Blews

Want to wipe your soiled rectum on an England flag? How about this:

Yes, you can now buy a roll of St. George flags for anus wiping.

Who the shitting Science* thought this would be a good idea?

Anyway, get them from play.com, if you really want to.

(The play.com domain name is registered from the island of Jersey. The Admin contact is UK based, but the Tech contact is in France.)

*oh go find the South Park episode.

Daleks are great. I’ve wanted one for years. The idea of having a Dalek to order about appeals to me. I could have it make tea for me and then exterminate my enemies/co-workers.

Daleks instill fear in the weak and feeble. For example:

Giant Dalek intimidates Puny Lego Doctor

My sister recently acquired a defunct radio control Dalek on a car boot sale and figured that I might be able to find something to do with it.

But first we need to see exactly what we’re dealing with.

Dalek (minus eyestalk)

What we appear to have is a Doctor Who – 12″ Radio Control Black Dalek, missing its eyestalk and the relevant control unit.

Someone once said that once you break something to see how it works, you have left the path of wisdom. It might have been Merlin, or possibly Mr. Miyagi. In this case, the damn thing is broken and i left the path of wisdom years ago anyway.

So, off with the bottom!

What lieth inside

Here we see three things:

• the base unit – which contains the RC receiver, speaker, battery unit and motors
• the superstructure – which is what makes it look like a Dalek
• some turkey mince – which would have been my supper, but was so far out of date that it was in danger of crawling away by itself.

Stripping off the burnt out RC receiver (and letting the mince run free) gives us a closer look at the base unit:

Warning: exposed circuitry

An even closer look shows us the nubbin that connects to the drive shaft that rotates the head unit:

Nubbin highlighted with red ring

Peering up the skirt of the Dalek shows us where the shaft connects to the nubbin, along with some wires that connect to the circuitry in the head:

Shaft, with another red ring around it

Just concentrating on the bottom we have:

• a base unit with working motors that run off 6v
• some duff circuitry which will be ignored
• a piezo speaker which might come in handy later
• nothing for my supper
• a blog post which, having re-read the text, will probably rank quite highly in the results of porn searches.

I’m not overly impressed by the Olympic Games, nor by the World Cup. I’m even less impressed with our hosting of said Running About A Field Games and our national attempts to host the World Cup Of Kicking A Pig’s Bladder About.

Hence my creation of the Facebook group “We didn’t want to host the Olympics and we don’t want to host the World Cup”.

Well, actually, thats not the real reason I made it. Really, I want to see how many sheeple join it. Considering 387 people pledged this year to talk like Jeremy Clarkson for a day, I have high hopes for this one. (4000+ for the year before, but that event seems to have been deleted.)

Oh dear, The Sun must be at the barrel scraping stage if they fall for lame rubbish such as this:

(See the story at http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2960673/Ghostly-figure-of-a-weeping-girl-in-mirror-of-hotel-room.html)

This little girl gets about a bit. Sometimes she appears in kitchen door glass (http://www.ghostsandstories.com/little-girl-ghost.html).

But this is hardly surprising considering this iPhone App: http://www.appstorehq.com/ghostcapture-iphone-79452/app

But it isn’t just the outrageous fakery that annoys me. Just read the story for all the signs of Sun Bullshit:

• Unidentified guests
• Unidentified spokesman
• Random words in BOLD CAPITALS

Honestly, if they want some made-up bullshit they should contact me. A copy of my CV should proove fictional enough for them.