More Reasons For Hating Facebook
Every so often, just when I start thinking that it might actually be of some use, I spot some things that make me realise (again) what an utter pit of shite Facebook actually is. Here is this month’s collation of bull:
- Firstly we had some gobshite Scottish journalist stalking the Dunblane Massacre survivors (the link is to Graham Linehan’s exellent write up of the proceedings), followed by Tim Ireland’s revenge on the stupid woman.
- Next, we have a group titled “Get Jon Venables and Robert Thompson Off Facebook“. Here is a quote from the group:
“Many visitors to GJV&RTOF ask how can we be sure that they are on facebook.
That is an interesting question. Our resident geek Billy has been doing some research:
There are 11,171,540 UK users of facebook.
Whilst I couldn’t find an UK users by age breakdown, there is a USA one.
Of the USA facebook users, 4.47% are aged 25.
Given the cultural and demographic similarities between the UK and USA (and the fact we have no UK based data) the only assumption we make is that ~4.47% of UK users are 25 years old
4.47% of 11,171,540 is 499368
Therefore, there are ~499368 25year old UK facebook users.
According to the Office of National Statistics, there are approximately 650,000 25 year olds in the UK.
(499368/650000)*100 = 76.82% of UK 25year olds have a facebook account.
Therefore, if you take any given UK 25year old at random – there is a 76.82% chance he/she has a facebook account.
Therefore there is a 76.82% chance that one of them are on facebook.
76.82%*76.82% = 59.02% chance both of them are on facebook.
These numbers are approximate, but even if these stats are as much as 10% off, we’re still talking a 50:50 chance.”
So, you have no direct evidence? A career with the Daily Mail beckons…
- Then we get a truck load of Jade Goody tribute groups (which are nothing like Rolling Stones tribute bands). You were the same people who wanted her hanged, drawn and quartered when she was just a stupid racist.
- And finally, those people who say “We will not pay to use Facebook anymore. We are gone if this happens” – No you won’t be. You are sheep, and you’ve all fallen for some bullshit written by a bloke who comes up with this type of group from time to time.
Rant over. Normal service will soon be resumed.
And to make sure that I’ve insulted everyone:
“Apparently its the worst accident in the history of aviation… A private light aircraft has crashed in a cemetary in Montana. Investigators have found over a thousand bodies.”
Yeah, but what if Thompson and Venables actually ARE on Facebook? Then you’ll look like a fool.
I’m disappointed of your failure to use the word ‘sheeple’ and stuck with the very 90′s word ‘sheep’. ‘Sheeple’ is a very funny and clever word to use.
Charlie, it would be difficult to look a fool over this as I already look a fool anyway.
I regret not using the word “sheeple”, I shall now use it as ofter as I can.
Is your name really Charlie Tickler? Are you a northen comedian or a childrens’ entertainer? Nominative determinism says you should be, but it also says I should be a musician – something I shall shortly prove to be untrue.
Tony,
Thank you for your speedy reply. I confess to being overjoyed at the prospect of seeing ‘sheeple’ used more often.
It makes me sad to hear you describe yourself as a fool but at least we agree that those child killers are on Facebook – imagine how you would feel if you unwittingly became friends with them? And what’s to stop them moving to Bebo and Twitter too? My cousin’s on Bebo, dammit.
I consider myself to be occasionally witty but certainly no comedian. The kids at school would call me ‘ball-tickler’. Get it? Like I was a fag or something. My ex-girlfriend called me ‘rib-tickler’ once but I fear she was taking the piss.
Good chat! Facebook me, man.
Firstly, I don’t agree that they are on Facebook, as there is no direct evidence. I merely agree that they might by, in much the same way as there might be aliens. Give me proof!
Secondly, even if they are an Facebook, what is the problem? Two people, now 27, who killed when they were 10. They are not the same people. I’m not the same person that I was 17 years ago. Its not as if they’re likely to go and find another child to kill.
I’ve just seen Jon Venables posting on that Facebook group, Tony.
EGG ON YOUR FACE! 180,000 people CAN’T be wrong!
No, you’ve seen someone CLAIMING to be JV posting on Facebook. And that many people CAN be wrong. Especially concerning their spelling. Some of it reads like is was typed by an unholy hybrid of a Daily Mail columnist and a fourteen year old text-messager.
The highlight for me at the moment is the retard who can’t see the irony of advocating the death penalty for children.
We have already had alien warnings on V&T. The consensus is ‘We welcome out new reptilian overlords and you are welcome to eat our young’.
(Apart from some die hard French who want to wear beret’s with pride once more. Poor, soon to be lunch, doomed, sheeple as they are).
Hey Tony! Listen yeah, had a think about what you said and I don’t understand what the problem is with killing childrem legally? I put my point across on that wonderful Facebook group and instead of having a debate, I ended up flirting with a hottie.
So anyway, kill children, guys.
http://www.facebook.com/board.php?uid=76540871928#/topic.php?uid=76540871928&topic=8150
Hmm. Charlie Tickler, “known troll”
http://www.par.am/facebook/known%20trolls.txt
What’s a troll?
Hey, trolls live under a bridge! I live in a house so you’re WRONG.
Hey!
Oh. So my comments all went through at the same time.
Anyway. Erm.
An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.[
Oh well that’s not me. I just calls a spade a spade. Spade!
Actually, Venables *does* seem to have had a Facebook page.
Proof please.
from firewall
I got onto a site months ago to someone claiming ‘THIS IS jon venables”…didn’t pass the test, not by a long shot, tested agw in several ways…said he was Jon Venables…..the only thing he and venable had in common was “total disregard”….otherwords austic, unable to show let alone feel compassion, not even for a sick dog.
Tested his endurance to the max.. provoked him over and over, empathized you know, the whole gammit…he was not Venables, this agw is the same sort of person who admits to killing someone….but they can’t tell you the details of the crime….err what !
Well, for whatever it is worth people, my view is just one point of view, thats all.
firewall
hello…..is anyone awake ?