Oh God, what have I done?
Many, many years ago, February 24th 2001 to be exact, I theorised to a Mr. Joel Veitch, of Rathergood.com, that you could summon a demon by masturbating on to your own faeces. Ok, so I stole this idea from a Clive Barker book, and neglected to mention that you must use your invisible psychic arm. Joel adopted me as his god, which is good. Sadly, in recent years, the quality of worship has declined. So it really serves him right that this has happened:
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